Blogger Jan Weizenecker lehnend am neuen Audi A8 in der Sonne.

“He makes me happy”

Werte der auf dieser Seite beworbenen Fahrzeuge:

Audi A8: Combined fuel consumption in l/100 km: 7.8 – 5.6 (30.2 – 42.0 US mpg); Combined CO2 emissions in g/km: 178 – 145 (286.5 – 233.4 g/mi).

Figures on the fuel consumption and the CO2-emissions vary in case of given ranges depending on the used combination of wheels/tires. // www.audi.de/DAT-Hinweis

Test drive with the new Audi A8

Dogs should not be in a bed and cars should not be humanized – and you definitely should not fall in love with them. One test drive in the new Audi A8 is enough for blogger Jan Weizenecker to throw all his resolutions overboard. A love story in several acts.

Ansicht auf den Audi A8 von oben.
The Audi A8 sets new standards in terms of exterior and interior design, control concepts and piloted driving.

Would you like to hear the good news or the bad news first? –  Life often asks this question. The answer to the question is more than just a reference to a basic game of sender-receiver it divides people into two different groups: optimists and pessimists.

In this way, I used to eat what I did not like first, so that I could look forward to eating the highlight later. Meaning first the veggies, then the meat. As is known, there is this “raspberry ice cream for breakfast” kind of guy. So what is better? Neither fish nor meat? Is my worldview glass half full or half empty? Am I thinking too much in stereotypes?

Perfection is meant for machines

The Audi A8 doesn’t need an answer to the “good news/bad news first” question.  The answer does not interest him because the question does not exist. Maybe that is exactly what people like about things or machines. As the kebab vendor and philosopher Duran Kabakyer said: “He machine does not sleep, it does not sweat, it is never tired”. You remember, right? Who doesn’t like citing him?

What he wanted to tell us was this: A machine can, in contrast to humans, be perfect. We will probably never reach perfection. Not even the Dalai Lama is perfect and he is busy praying all day. But exactly this abstinence of perfection is what makes humans being so interesting – and most certainly shouldn’t turn you into a pessimist.

Audi A8 vor der Ciutat de les Arts i les Ciències in Valencia

Design meets impressive architecture: the A8 in front of the City of Arts and Sciences in Valencia.

Drive or be driven?

Audi makes this philosophical question easy for us. And that is the good news: for people who can spare 90.000 Euro, the only controversial discussion regarding the new A8 flagship is this one: Drive yourself or be driven? Fish or meat? To be or not to be? Do I want to sit in the front and have full control over the up to 12 cylinder strong engine? Do I want to enjoy the fully actively regulated AI suspension, the passively steering rear axle and the extreme high tech with the MMI touch response-operating concept that gives haptic feedback to the driver. Or will I sit in the back of the long version, lean back, receive a foot massage and listen to an opera in 3D sound

As the A8’s driver you become humble. And even if you have the worst chauffeur in the world, it will barely get dangerous in the new Audi flagship. Sitting behind the steering wheel, you naturally wonder who the better driver is. The machine or me? And will I be replaced by the machine?

The answer has to be: Yes, in the foreseeable future. Until then, the chauffeur will be supported by 41 assistants while driving the new family member of Audi. For reasons of simplicity, these are divided into three different packages. The AI assistance package includes a parking assistant that helps with steering and slowing while the driver is maneuvering. Additionally, there is a curb warning. Numerous cameras scan the surrounding area and provide the possibility to switch the car to different angles manually in the display menu, making parking accidents improbable even for actuarial calculation.

"And even if you have the worst chauffeur in the world, it will barely get dangerous in the new Audi flagship."

Jan Weizenecker, car blogger

The A8’s assistant systems make pessimism disappear

The pessimism glass that is full of risks in the city is to be emptied by the assistance package called Audi pre sense city. It is a system that identifies problems in cross traffic and can assist with a crossing assist and the Audi side assist. The assistant that helps with leaving a parking space is new. Through cross traffic assist in the rear, accidents can either be prevented or their consequences be reduced. During an unavoidable crash, the chassis would come upward to cushion the impact.

The warning system also ensures that exiting the A8 has no negative consequences as it keeps an eye on the back traffic.

If you want to simplify your life, you can just equip your Audi with the AI assistance package Plus. It includes all packages, plus an adaptive cruise control, a lane-departure warning, a turn assist, a collision avoidance assist and traffic jam assist. The assistant supports the driver between a speed of 0 and 250 kilometers per hour. Additionally, the package includes the Audi A8 remote garage parking pilot. And again, there a good news: With the pilot, you are able to maneuver the A8 into a parking space driverless while using a smartphone app. “It’s a miracle!” the neighbors are bound to call out.

Jan Weizenecker auf dem Fahrersitz des A8.
Blogger Jan Weizenecker puts the features of the new Audi A8 to the acid test.

How the Audi AI traffic jam pilot works in practice

Enough with the theory. How does the machine work in a traffic jam? The first steps requires some bravery. It’s time to put your hands away from the steering wheel and to push the AI button in the center console. Now the A8 floats autonomously in the traffic line. As soon as the long convoy starts, KITT’s successor accelerates, slows down and enables emergency lanes. If the traffic jam disperses, the car will notify the driver to retake control of the car.

But what would happen if one fell asleep during all those automated procedures? At first, the Audi A8 will try to wake the driver with a loud beep sound. If there is no reaction, short braking intervals and heavy tearing of the seat belt are the car’s next actions. Who does not wake up from this, is either on crack, has fainted or is dead. In this case, the A8 will start a braking maneuver until total standstill, the hazard warning lights will go on, the doors will unlock. Pessimists and cynics would now state that you cannot even die in peace in a car anymore.

Parking with an app: With this technology any smartphone user can become a parking expert.

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The maneuvering assistant is one of over 40 new driver assistance systems in the new Audi A8.

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The Matrix LED headlights with Audi laser beam make the Audi A8 an eye catcher by night.

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The crossing assist recognizes critical cross traffic and can initiate a short braking action in order to preventing accidents.

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The comfort of the back seats in the A8

If my car can do that much, do I still want to drive it myself? Or will I maliciously choose the long version of the A8 including a chauffeur and take place in the back on the left side? Let the sun shine on my head through the two-part panoramic roof? If I get tired, I will cuddle into the seat with its super comfortable headrest. If necessary, I will change – electrically, of course – its angle. I’ll activate the massage function and enjoy a full treatment with the relaxation seat package. It magically transforms the back seat into a wellness temple. If one gets tired, in contrast to the machine, you can form a lying position while receiving a foot massage from the front seat. The rear seat’s remote is the control center in the backbenchers paradise.

Die Rear Seat Remote ist hinten in der Mittelkonsole angebracht und beinhaltet Komfort- und Infotainmentfunktionen für Mitreisende.
The rear seat remote enables comfortable travel for back seat passengers. It offers several comfort and infotainment functions that can be controlled via touch.

Via the 5,7 inch big OLED touch display, one can comfortably control the light, seats, temperature and music. Since we’re talking about music: The Bang & Olufsen sound system with 3D sound hits your ears with 1.920 watt from 23 speakers. Whether you’re listening to quiet chamber music or a loud hip hop concert, the new sound sound system in the A8 excites everybody. It is fish and meat. If you close your eyes, you feel like you are at sea, in a concert or standing on stage yourself. For the medial pleasure, you have a 10,1 inches tablet on the left and the right side. Practical: When entering the temple, the door will open up for you and close automatically. The pessimist does not need such gimmicks, while the optimist is excited about them every day.

Life is too short for pessimists, cynics and too many compromises. People love optimism, perfection and action. The new A8 can give us all of these factors. Of course, he is a machine. A device. And should therefore not be humanized. That would be objectophilia in its worst form. Well. Dogs should not be allowed into bed either. Technically. And I cannot get rid of my own perverted car love. Meanwhile I have touched the whole A8, fumbled, I have dominated him, cuddled into its soft leather, felt the vibration of its IMM touchpad. Received a back massage and fondling of my feet. And he did not care whether I remembered his birthday. He did not care if I recollected our anniversary or bought him flowers. He is happy as long as I refuel him, take care of his taxes and pay for the insurance. Without foreplay. And even if we do not benefit from the splitting advantage, since the marriage between me and the Audi flagship is not legal yet, I have to admit: No matter if from the front or from behind. I am in love with the Audi A8, he makes me happy.

Experiencing the backseat

An out and out optimist: Jan Weizenecker delights himself with the technical gimmicks in the A8.
The spacious interior provides the A8 with a lounge character. It includes comforts such as different massaging functions and comfortable headrests.
On the touch area in the rear seat remote, several functions such as HD matrix reading lights, seat and foot massages and sun blinds, can be activated.
Luxurious elements can be found in the door as well: The A8 has integrated electrical door openers and electrical arm rests.
The new A8 will start with two V6 turbo engines on the German market. More motorizations as well as a plug-in hybrid with an inductive charging function will follow in 2018.

An out and out optimist: Jan Weizenecker delights himself with the technical gimmicks in the A8.

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The spacious interior provides the A8 with a lounge character. It includes comforts such as different massaging functions and comfortable headrests.

2/5

On the touch area in the rear seat remote, several functions such as HD matrix reading lights, seat and foot massages and sun blinds, can be activated.

3/5

Luxurious elements can be found in the door as well: The A8 has integrated electrical door openers and electrical arm rests.

4/5

The new A8 will start with two V6 turbo engines on the German market. More motorizations as well as a plug-in hybrid with an inductive charging function will follow in 2018.

5/5
Audi A8
Audi MediaCenter

The new Audi A8: future of the luxury class

Today is where the future begins in the luxury class: The new Audi A8 makes its world debut at the Audi Summit in Barcelona. In its fourth generation, the flagship model again provides the benchmark for Vorsprung durch Technik – with a new design language, an innovative touchscreen operating concept and a systematically electrified drive. The Audi A8 is also the first production automobile in the world to have been developed for highly automated driving. From 2018, Audi will gradually be taking piloted driving functions such as parking pilot, garage pilot and traffic jam pilot into production.

Read more

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Silvester

13. November 2017 um 20:04
Hi Stephanie, thanks for your answer. There is no Audi dealer in DE, UK, IT or CH that knows when 4.0tdi and AI chassis will be available. Maybe you can help. I thank you in advance. S.

Stephanie Huber

16. November 2017 um 15:38
Dear Silvester,

could you please be so kind and explain what you mean by AI chassis? Audi AI is the new cipher for a variety of innovative systems that relieve strain on drivers and simultaneously also offer them new possibilities to use the time spent in the car, such as the Audi AI traffic jam pilot.

Best,

Stephanie

Silvester

8. November 2017 um 21:53
Hi, how come that Audi advertise worldwide optionals that are not available on ordering? AI active chassis is just an example. The system is electro-mechanical integreted with a scanning camera and there is no need for special legislation. Or 4.0 tdi not available and no idea when will be possible to order it. Any comment is appriciated.

Stephanie Huber

13. November 2017 um 8:26
Hi Silvester, availability of models and features generally varies from country to country and this often depends on legal and market factors, among others. As social media channels nowadays allow for ads to be shown around the world, it is not always easy to avoid confusion, in which case a local Audi dealer will be happy to assist further. Greetings from Ingolstadt